I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
