dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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