yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
