Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
