I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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