Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Houston, we have a blender
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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