tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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