Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
