i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
