The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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