I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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