How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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