whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
