That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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