In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
