Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize