My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
