i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sorry my hands just texted you
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
