I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize