the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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