He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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