After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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