things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
