After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
