It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
