at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
