she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
