1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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