eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
