Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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