: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
