no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So much rum. So many feels.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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