if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
