I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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