he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
