I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
