I wannas sexs uuuuu
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
