oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What a dumb baby whore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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