I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize