So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
