Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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