also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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