now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
