Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
