I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
