is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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