There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I intend to get homeless drunk
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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