I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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