I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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