She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
