are you still at the devil's house?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
