ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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