I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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