it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
