Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
