this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
