I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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