its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize