...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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