too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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