If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
