my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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