My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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