I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
