Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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