yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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