They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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