I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There r osticjed everywhere
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
