let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
