They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am one with the molecules
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
