It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize