You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
