yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
